i know i said i dont wanna blog... but theres things im feeling right now that i need to talk about and well.. no one is online to talk and well its times like this i really want a best friend or something..
the day started off well.. despite realizing that i forgot to add in the FILA chart to the AM report.. well its a little too late now.. i will still try to pass it up though.. made 50 bucks for scoring today.. yup.. then reached home and i started feeling like crap
its like no matter what i do, i feel really lonely.. there isnt exactly someone really close to talk to, or have a nice long talk to.. busy schedules and shit.. it all sucks.. then when i do have the chance to be with my friends, it doesnt last long.. i have to be back at 12.. even then my mum thinks its late.. like im back before that all the time.. very seldom do i come back late.. and then im not allowed to stay over.. i really would have loved to stay over at the chalet.. i just asked my mum and she said i cant stayover even for the chalet that my class is planning to have.. i mean why the hell not.. just because my brother was not allowed means its the same with me.. that not a valid reason.. gone are the times when parents give stupid reasons and children have to abide by them.. my dad never did allow. but he did make an exception once or twice.. he would always make the decisions on such a matter.. and honestly, i can tell my mum feels very reluctant to make such a decision.. thats why im surprised she even let me to go to california.. but whats so different about staying over..
i know ive said this before but its so depressing to see everyone having a bestfriend.. someone who actually understands and cares about them, someone who offers a shoulder to cry on and someone to comfort them.. i seriously doubt that im close to anyone to the extent that i can just let out all my emotions and cry if i have to and be able to tell them how i feel, rather than bottling it all up and crying myself to sleep at times.. i just feel really empty inside.. for a long time now.. i probably dont mean anything to anybody except my family.. which is why i should just stop going out and just spend time with my family cause nothing else seems to be worth it at this time.. i just hope i feel better in the morning
the day started off well.. despite realizing that i forgot to add in the FILA chart to the AM report.. well its a little too late now.. i will still try to pass it up though.. made 50 bucks for scoring today.. yup.. then reached home and i started feeling like crap
its like no matter what i do, i feel really lonely.. there isnt exactly someone really close to talk to, or have a nice long talk to.. busy schedules and shit.. it all sucks.. then when i do have the chance to be with my friends, it doesnt last long.. i have to be back at 12.. even then my mum thinks its late.. like im back before that all the time.. very seldom do i come back late.. and then im not allowed to stay over.. i really would have loved to stay over at the chalet.. i just asked my mum and she said i cant stayover even for the chalet that my class is planning to have.. i mean why the hell not.. just because my brother was not allowed means its the same with me.. that not a valid reason.. gone are the times when parents give stupid reasons and children have to abide by them.. my dad never did allow. but he did make an exception once or twice.. he would always make the decisions on such a matter.. and honestly, i can tell my mum feels very reluctant to make such a decision.. thats why im surprised she even let me to go to california.. but whats so different about staying over..
i know ive said this before but its so depressing to see everyone having a bestfriend.. someone who actually understands and cares about them, someone who offers a shoulder to cry on and someone to comfort them.. i seriously doubt that im close to anyone to the extent that i can just let out all my emotions and cry if i have to and be able to tell them how i feel, rather than bottling it all up and crying myself to sleep at times.. i just feel really empty inside.. for a long time now.. i probably dont mean anything to anybody except my family.. which is why i should just stop going out and just spend time with my family cause nothing else seems to be worth it at this time.. i just hope i feel better in the morning
posted by shanemeyer at 10:10 PM
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